Un Iceberg, Un Aestruz, Un Arma

I was trying to marry my sister. For immigration purposes.
Children were up for adoption on E-bay.  It was called E-men.
All the while I was chasing an iceberg around the world.
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The next day, I was the one being chased.  By a lion.  In a savanna.
I slid down hills and hills and ran for my little life.
There were ceramics and doors I couldn't really go in.
The lion turned out to be an ostrich.
I killed it before I knew.
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Someone's husband kissed me.  I wasn't really surprised.  The wife pulled up in a sports car and was very angry.

I was a stranger in my own home.  I had to ask permission to use the bathrooms and everything was different.  My parents were hosting a party for a military squadron.

I was sitting next to my sister who was sitting next to a soldier.  Walkie-Talkies gave updates and explanations as to what was on tv.  There were guns everywhere and our house was surrounded.

"I gotta get out of here.  All these guns are really freaking me out."
Kristin nodded, "I understand."
"What's the problem?" The soldier asked.
"I'm just uncomfortable," I said, "with all these weapons."
He handed me his AK-47 with a completely straight face, "Here, have mine."
"What are you doing?  I'll die before I use a gun," I said.